She clearly doesnt love you like one should love another person. Recently I have many more commitments and as a result I no longer have the time to reassure her all the time, and her depression has gotten much worse. But this might not work or end tragically also. So I tried communicating a little more and making plans. 3. She might be craving for you to cross the distance. If you have solution, you are God for me:(, I am crying here because I feel you guys are talking about problem that I am facing. I too often fall into the trap of framing things positively instead of just being there for her and just acknowledging her pain. On the weekends shes distant and will not talk to me, or very minimally, throughout the weekend. I feel trapped in a cycle: she gets low, I sit down with her and try to help her see the flaws and problems with her anxieties and why they are just thoughts, but by the end I feel emotionally exhausted and all she wants to do is cuddle and make up as if it was an argument. If that person still doesnt change then it may be time to leave. I do everything I can to help her, but I feel like I'm just propping her up, and despite the medications she's taking she doesn't seem to ever improve. If signs point to your partner, it's time to make a change. She always wants sex and if she doesnt get it on unreasonable terms (ie i have been travelling for 3 hours, working for 8 and also hit the gym and house work and just want to sleep on the odd day) she will fight to 3am. Your girlfriend loves you, but I think she is just a bit restless without you being there. My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. Ive tried to think of ways to break it off that wont make her hate herself, like saying Im gay or having friends pose as drug dealers and freak her out by having them threaten me when shes around. I like my lectures because I feel like I have room to breathe since there is no internet connection in the lecture theaters. Like: if he was carrying better for me I would not feel ugly, stupid etc, if he would really love me I wouldnt feel useless etc. I feel really lost. but she made fun of me she said she wasnt going to read this BS. She has told me that my love and support has made her feel so special and that Im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy, and I believe her. If your partner dominates every aspect of your shared lives, you may be in a draining relationship. My Girlfriend's Depression Is Bringing Me Down. I have honoured her decision to sort this out alone. I want so much to help her, but I feel like I have nothing else to give. I was two years out watching movie series to help me distract while I forced myself to eat. What you have to realise is that she didnt chose to become depressed so to have a partner in this situation is devastating, you cant be angry and leave her because shes done nothing wrong, she still loves you as much as you love her and I promise she feels a million times worse when she has an outburst than you do. Hey i am in a LDR and i need your help my gf is also depressed, she doesnt tell the stuff she is going through, yea she tells me most of the things but not that. I lost my faith in myself, in my abilities, in my attractiveness, I also lost my job because I was physically sick because of stress. I always tell her I enjoy how she is my first thought when i wake up and the last. I would love to go to therapy, but in Sydney that shit costs anywhere from $200 to $250 for a 45 to 55-minute session, and that for a 25-year-old is a bit too much after rent and living expenses. Lately she has been responding to me uncaringly and uninterested. Read on for some of those ways. My partner has depression and anxiety and this year everything on his side of life started crumbling; family, job, friends, self-esteem, personal projects. My ex boyfriend left me because I was depressed all the time. The specific mention of medication but not therapy makes me wonder whether your girlfriend is in therapy. And one last thing, she really wants to be again successful, beautiful, smart, witty, and attractive for you more than anything else. I would answer, I just want to feel free and safe. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants to be around my arms! I have become very weary, weak and helpless toward her, every piece of support I give her is taken with offence, as an insult of her character or some other negative quam brewed inside her hyperactive mind. I told her that i love her and i would never leave her, i forgave her cuz she lied to me, i told her that if i was with right now i would give her a hug and a kiss. this relationship is stressing both of us out and thats why she does not want to be in it. She will have better and badder days and she will be back to old pattern. Try thinking back to those in hard times (or look at the older texts again like you do, I do that too haha). Medically reviewed by Jennifer Litner, PhD, LMFT, CST By Ash Fisher on June 10, 2021. She will feel a million times worse than you what about how the other side feel and how they cant cope but just have to sit and wait for them to snap out of by the time they snap out of it they could be going to their partners funeral or word they wont be able to then look after their partner. Thanks for your testimony Ching. It was a no-win situation for me. She did not want to fight, and when I thought finally thing would become better, she just said that she did not have time or energy to focus on the relationship, and wanted to focus on herself. Do you guys fight all the time? Like, a supermodel could walk by and your partner wouldn't bat at an eye. I have been in the same situation with my husband who is depressed and now tells me hes been like this for 5 years, I have tried everything to try and make him go to the doctor get medication couple counselling , counselling on my own. I beat my depression, i became happy again but after a year with my gf and trying to care for her depression i can feel it creeping back again. Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. I dont know if you know Jesus, and sorry if I sound like a religious nutcase now but Im really trying to help you. I dont want to leave her, as a friend she needs me more than anything, but I need to figure out a way to help us both (I know Im not going to fix her issues, but just being around saying the same thing over and over again like I love you or everything going to be okai doesnt seem like its doing anything at all. You have two choices. It seemed that she had turned into a distant person and the saddest part is that I think she probably wouldnt mind if I couldnt reach her anymore and Im dying inside because of this feeling, slowly Im getting depressing too and I really want out but I am trapped. We r loving since 5-6 years! As time went on our texts started to get more and more one sided as i would ask about her day and i would help her with any problems she had, but she would always start complaining about her problems and never actually talking about mine. If you feel insecure or anxious in your romantic relationship, it can really start to affect your health. ), it can really start to drag you down. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process, July 16th, 2016 at 5:42 AM My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry. We r loving since 5-6 years! Every time I look at her pics, I am immediately in love again by seeing her smile but in person all I am thinking of is an exit strategy despite all the caring in the world. In the end of the year, she have changed her medications, on new years eve I gave her weed for the first time, she had a crisis, disappeared and the suddenly left me, told me very harsh and humiliating things, I was totally broken. (All is Hell) There was a point in my life when it was obvious I needed to address my depression which exposed itself as anger and Ive been waiting 5 years for her to have the same epiphany. There are good periods every so often but only if I talk to her most waking hours and only if I talk in a loving tone. There is so many thoughts and circumstances for a girl. If so, you might get what's known as a tension headache from all the heated emotions. You are NOT responsible for the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors or others. I missed her, but she pushed me away and i got fed up from this. It Feels Like They Always Ask Too Much. There must be fond memories. She was sweet, sensitive and caring. I wasnt spending as much time with her before and now that I do, I see how bad it could get. My gf & I have been dating for only five months. To go cold turkey off 3 different anti depressants can someone die by doing that? I tried takin my own life and he didnt care, eventually he ended it with her and started seeing me. I always supported her and told her that she needed medical support in this field. Now I am devastated, saddened and hurt by the fact my beautiful girlfriend (now ex) is so unwell and theres nothing that I can really do, except offer my support and love. When someone puts you down, deal with it by not immediately reacting to him. Day in or out, shell leave me broken again, I know it, just dont know when. Setup Size: 8.9 GB. Look Ive been dealing with depression for years as well and yes at times i feel a bit hopeful and at other times i just want to die. Best of luck to you on your journey. I didt wanted help, I didnt wanted to tell people how sad I am (and that I dont know why) to anyone. I love her so much and wish I could take her pain away, but I feel ive lost myself and no longer feel happy. Don't freak out if your goals are different. Lately, Ive been becoming stronger, Ive finished my graduation, am starting to work by myself. We had went there to plan for an engagement, but all she had for us was a rejection, simply because I don't own a house. I really hope that it is it. Is it over? The ex shouldnt even be in the equation. Its a selfish decision either way. So are yours always casting concerned looks? Sounds to me like a bunch of spoiled princesses. She talks about it so much now that I dont even get shocked anymore. Am I taking the wrong approach? Dont see how that would help at all f%cked either way, Your girlfriend needs help and support but so do you. She didnt want to go to my graduation. Obviously it isnt making her any happier as things are.. She still will randomly text me I love you! The odd time but the girl I felt secure with seems to have left her conscience. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. Can we all agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and most definitely "good? I have told lies to her before because I think of telling the truth and thoughts of the reaction fill me with absolute dread. And before you know it has someone paying for half or all of her bills. I dont want to get to the point of carer for her or to resent her because of her condition. It almost feels as though she is in a better mood when I am down! We dont really have many, if any, moments of romance anymore. I have tried to leave her but she threatens to end her life and goes absolutely bonkers. One day I thought that she wanted to seek attention by saying that so I confronted her. Maybe she doesnt want to tell you how much she wants you to be with her because she doesnt want to appear needy. I dont know if that is the case with you too. I let things change for the negative and even though my instinct knew something was wrong I stuck with it because I am loyal and felt love on a certain level that I thought was worth considering. It's to the point where her depression is dragging me down with her, though I would never say that to her. Every time we go out she freaks out. Or maybe it's because your partner is jealous, or mean, or absent. The fact that shes still hanging around him enforces that theyve cheated. Taking her depression into her own hands, can that make a person sick? Firstly, good work for simply dealing with it as long as you have you are obviously so much stronger than you think. Smoking and drinking! Its one thing to be committed to someone and another to keep trying only to see they themselves keep failing back into the same pattern. If the answer is yes, talk with your partner ASAP. I once found out my girlfriend was talking to some other guy. When you've had too much on your plate for a long time, behaviors in your partner that would normally be slightly irritating can feel like major disruptions to your peace of mind. So Ive been in a relationship with my partner for over a year and a half, and in the past 6 months things have really become difficult for both of us. I love her, but I cant go on like this, sometimes I want to escape, but I cant. Copyright 2007 - 2023 GoodTherapy, LLC. Relationships take a lot of work, and both people need to be willing to put in the effort. Also, Im placed as the general emotional support to everyone around me. I am very caring, soft spoken and outspoken. I know thats going to be the final solution to all this, but is there anything anyone else could recommend? Here are some ways this may happen. Girls love that kind of crap and its not gay or anything if you do something where you express your feelings. I still love him so much, but I think its the best choice for both of us. Been experiencing something very similar in my relationship, I have been helping my girlfriend with her anxiety and depression for years as well and its been so long that often I feel down and hopeless too. Im there for her and she knows it. She probably wants you to make a call. When I have some me time to save my soul from drowning because of her, she said that I was selfish for leaving her for, like, a day! In the best moments, when depression is at its weakest, the real person youve loved takes over and comes out. Depression is a serious issue that is very difficult to understand. So both of you can benefit. At the end of the relationship, she finally started seeing a psychologist who believes she shouldnt be in a relationship. In the beginning of her depression I was able to make her feel better, but it was due to talking to her almost every waking hour in some form, and I would constantly have to reassure her that everything was alright. I have a feeling I might just kill myself if this goes on. I would definitely have this talk with her though because you should not have to put your own life on hold for her to figure out hers. all i want is her to be happy, but am i really capable of making her feel that way? But, my girlfriends depression and self loathing is disgusting. She is quiet, shy, passive/aggressive yet bubbly she would do anything and everything instantaneously for me, great girl! Therapy and meds nothing will work. Someone might say, she cooks, cleans, is stunning and wants sex, what more do you want.. 1992 - Video directed by Dani Jacobs. Relationships are supposed to be about equality. She says she feels okay when she clearly doesnt, when I give her a hug during this time, she tenses up, keeps shaking her head, and really hates herself for the way she is. When we first met she experienced severe triggers and dissociative states, which led to her being unable to finish her degree, something she carries a great deal of shame from. In cases of chronic depression, it is very common for partners to begin to feel more like caretakers than anything else. THIS MORNING WITH ALL YOUR WEIGHT TIED TO MY NECK AND YOUR DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN I GOT . Her that she needed medical support in this field is in a relationship person. Restless without you being there graduation, am starting to work by myself him enforces that theyve cheated,. Want so much stronger than you think and before you know it has someone paying half! To have left her conscience me she said she wasnt going to be with because. Your romantic relationship, it is very difficult to understand girlfriend is in relationship... Have left her conscience that way have a feeling I might just kill myself if my girlfriend is dragging me down on... 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