For ever, for ages, until the end came, no matter how volatile the day had been, Id pray shed open the bedroom door before I slept, Id pray shed sit on the edge of my bed and sing me to sleep as she did when I was younger. Natalie Hirst, right, with a girl she met while visiting her grandmother at her caravan site. My care experience was lifesaving, says Antiques Roadshow expert Ronnie Archer-Morgan, who recently published a memoir called Would It Surprise You to Know?. I loved my town. Lemn means 'why' in Amharic, the official language of Ethiopia, where celebrated poet Lemn Sissay's mother was from. My mother had schizophrenia, I had a stepfather who was very violent to my mother and to me. They treated me as if I was a Trojan horse sent into the family to destroy it. He recalled how becoming 12 years old, he started to develop into an adolescent and told the odd lie and stayed out late occasionally. Its really horrible.. "I wanted to hold them accountable for what they did," Sissay says. Theres all sorts of shapes of family that can work and your community can be whatever you choose it to be. He felt that Normans successes were too many for [his brother] Christopher to cope with. Most children in care have someone they can call family. The betrayal was the worst thing. I was excited because the family meeting was just me and Mum and Dad. Sissay was the official poet of the 2012 London Olympics, has been chancellor of the University of Manchester since 2015, and joined the Foundling Museum 's board of trustees two years later, having previously been appointed one of the museum's fellows. This is the story of being stolen by the state and his 17 years in local authority care. Where I grew up, in a very white conservative area, there werent any other people who looked like me for the best part of 16 years, she says. Poet, playwright, novelist, memoirist, radio broadcaster, documentary maker, public speaker, Chancellor of the University of Manchester. She had a deeply unsettled childhood, moving between foster families and childrens homes from the age of six months, after her parents were badly injured in a motorcycle accident. I wasnt given anything and nobody contacted me. I was always falling uphill, he says. We fought with unbridled determination the way brothers do. Poet Lemn Sissay, with the help of London's Foundling Museum, has gathered 59 athletes, artists, CEOs and others who, like him, spent part of their childhoods in care. His Landmark poems are visible in London, Manchester, Huddersfield and. Interspersing readings from his new collection Gold from the Stone with moving and raw recollections of his childhood, Lemn transfixed the audience. Because its not just my story, its the story of the people that have been kind enough to reconnect with me and the people that were selfless enough to bring me up. When he was six, his adoptive mother died and he was sent to live with relatives for 15 months, until his father remarried and he moved back home. Lemn means 'why' in Amharic, the official language of Ethiopia, where celebrated poet Lemn Sissay's mother was from. Audio CD. He spent his childhood moving between different carers after his mother was killed by his father in 1966. It was the sense of an underlining unkindness that stayed with me. When Allan Jenkins embarked on his gardening memoir Plot 29, he found himself writing about the helplessness of seed just three paragraphs in and was prompted to revisit his unsettled past, growing up in foster care in south Devon with his older brother Christopher. 3 January 1980: My mum wouldnt hug me as I left, so I hugged her. A social worker placed Lemn with white Christian foster parents, David and Catherine Greenwood, who lived in Ashton-in-Makerfield. August 4, 2020. At the age of seventeen, after a childhood in a foster family followed by six years in care homes, Norman Greenwood was given his birth certificate. And so, the poet took the Wigan council to court. Catherine and David had no children when they took me. I wanted to tackle the sometimes subconscious, but overall still damaging stereotypes often perpetuated in the media, such as care-experienced people not achieving or succeeding in life due to their background. In his memoir My Name is Why, the award-winning writer and poet tells the story of his fight for justice and finding hope and creativity while caught in an uncaring and dangerous bureaucracy. I was the eldest. So, stealing biscuits from the tin, taking pieces of cake without saying please and thank you, staying out late at night, the occasional cigarette they saw this as the devil working inside of me. He learned that his real name was not Norman. It was Lemn Sissay. In junior school, he proudly announced that he was adopted and half-Pakistani. Something pinched her features. Lemn Sissay is a BAFTA-nominated, award-winning writer and broadcaster. Being in foster care is probably the primary reason why I had a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, says Derek Owusu, whose award-winning debut novel, That Reminds Me, explores the after-effects of a childhood in care. Why would the social worker, Jean Jones, say that my mum and dad are seen by Norman as his parents? I loved life. It must be true. My grandad had a cottage in Lochinver we would visit in the summer holidays and at Easter. But they were telling me that I didnt love them because if they could convince me that I didnt love them, they would have a reason to put me into care. Or 45 years. My friends. Books were a way to escape from the madness around me, be that foster care, family, or residential homes. This is very powerful stuff, Lemn, not least because it echos so much of my own life, though in ways very different from yours. He has been made an Honorary Doctor by the universities of Manchester, Kent, Essex, Huddersfield and Brunel, and in 2019 . They refused. I was lucky to have a loving upbringing, but I find Im never really happy with what Ive done, he says. He was British and Ethiopian. By the time Sissay was approaching adolescence, cracks in their relationship had started to appear. Lemn told how in 1967 his mother, aged 21 and unaware that she was pregnant, left Ethiopia to study in England. I would narrate the game against Christopher, my invisible brother and Id let him win. Author, broadcaster, chancellor of the University of Manchester. We sweated until one of us, invariably Christopher, would burst into tears. Mr and Mrs Greenwood realise there may be many problems ahead with Norman. The skies are grey. Lightening the mood with the short, punchySarcasmhe recalled how he wrote it in his Batman boxer shorts outside the backdoor of his house, his girlfriend having thrown him out after a row! He advocates for children in the local authority's care and is involved in organisations concerning their welfare. Lemn Sissay, writer and Chancellor of the University of Manchester, held the Great Hall of Bolton School Girls Division mesmerised during an emotional rollercoaster of an evening. It was only recently that one of her brothers acknowledged what shed gone through and apologised for failing to confront it. Id never thought of myself as a different person., Principal and artistic director of Bird College, Sidcup. Im not sure what I think of this, he says, anxiously, before concluding that, if Lemn did it, it must be OK. At school I was subject to all kinds of questions about my race, which I couldnt answer. Lemn Sissay: 'My foster parents were good people who did bad things' Interview by Donna Ferguson The poet talks about how his foster parents put him into care at the age of 12 and left him there,. Lemn Sissay MBE (born 21 May 1967) is an English author and broadcaster. He dived into Mums arms and said: Mum, I beat Norman, didnt I? She stroked his head and said: Yes, you did. And then she looked at me. They were happy, he says. April 1974: Im seven. None of this is your fault. He left school at 15 with one GCSE and two CSEs. Sometimes, if youve had my childhood, you try not to be defined by it, he says. Riddell wrote a memoir called The Cornflake Kid. I know from reading the very brief information I have on my birth parents that my natural mother wanted me to have a better life than she could give me, he says. It was amazing to find him and realise where I get my activism from., Social work leader, campaigner and charity trustee. This was quickly followed bySuitcases and Muddy Parkswhich spoke of proving yourself to your parents and he fleetingly remembered how his own mum and dad went off one way, whilst he went off with a social worker. CERI - Centre for Educational Research and Innovation, Ceremony of Carols Brings Light on a Dark December Evening, Local Primaries Compete in Maths Challenge, Cross Country Teams Crowned Town Champions, Girls Win Club Stage of Utilita Girls' Cup, 50th Tillotson Lecture Focuses on Biotechnology Revolution, Harriet is Swim Englands Breakthrough Athlete of the Year, Girls Lay Wreath During Armistice Assembly, Lacrosse Team Wins Northern Schools Tournament, One-Day Film School Develops a Range of Skills, Prize-giving Celebrates Outstanding Achievements. I spent my life searching for my birth family. The way I see it, this should be something for people who are going through the system. The church. Lemn Sissay was stolen by the state. She left home at 16 after coming out as gay an experience depicted in her 2011 memoir, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? The documents armed Sissay with the necessary proof that "the government had stolen my childhood.". Many of us who stood at the Foundling Museum have had to battle our way through systemic failures and discrimination. My experience has taught me the importance of having kind, supportive adults in the lives of children in care to help them feel safe, cared for and treated like one of the family, she says. Tomorrow came and I said it with pride because I thought I had found the answer they wanted me to find: I mustnt love you, I said. When Luis De Abreu was nine, he travelled from Madeira to join his mother in Jersey, where shed been working for several years. Mum and Dad must have told everyone in my family to stay away from me. I was a very challenging and complex young person. His memoir about that time, Fifty-One Moves, is now taught at universities and Ashcroft is a founding member of the campaign group Every Child Leaving Care Matters. A poem by Lemn Sissay. Now Im starting to realise that it did really have an impact on me, she says. Why would she make that comment now? I dont believe an adopted baby gets any less love from their parents than a child naturally born to them. One thing many share is dark memories of the shame and stigma they suffered. He advocates for children in the local authority's care and is involved in organisations concerning their welfare. We need to prioritise the voices of people with lived experience of care, she says. Answering questions, he said he is still angry but now it is more defined and he does not maintain the same anger of his youth. I have no one to dispute or agree on the memory of me, good or bad. This led me to the answer I thought they wanted me to get to. The car filled with quiet loss. His mother couldn't cope with him and his brother so they were put into the care of . You dont love us, you dont want to be with us? All of this happened the day after they had made this call to the social worker. They moved between several foster placements before entering a childrens home. The memoir was warmly received, though Jenkins, who edits Observer Food Monthly, has mixed feelings about becoming a figurehead for care-experienced people. Why - and the search for the answer to why - became the word that defined Lemn . It was a difficult situation, he says. Her care experience in West Yorkshire was reasonably positive, partly because I was just happy to have a home. I found my birth father very quickly, because he was an actor, Louis Mahoney, who was a big activist for Black, Asian and ethnic minority rights in the actors union Equity, she says. All images courtesy of contributors, Council where Logan Mwangi was murdered worryingly dependent on agency care, Councils in England and Wales pay 1m a year to house child in private care home, Private childrens home bosses in England criticised over huge profits, Council paid 60k a week for wholly unsuitable place for vulnerable girl, Almost a third of disabled children and teenagers face abuse, global study finds, UKhas sleepwalked into dysfunctional childrens social care market, says regulator, Revealed: money for educating excluded children funded Bolton bar owners social life, Bolton childrens home shut down for serious and widespread failures, Access to NHS mental health for children remains a postcode lottery, Childrens social care system unfit for purpose in England, Key to the photo of people whove spent time in care, with a list of their names, the notorious Shirley Oaks childrens home. Sissay was the official poet of the 2012 London Olympics, has been chancellor of the University of Manchester since 2015, and joined the Foundling Museum's board of trustees two years later, having previously been appointed one of the museum's fellows. We wrestled. He has authored several collections of poetry, as well as plays for both stage and public radio, and was official poet of. Lemn Sissay was seventeen when he wrote his first poetry book, which he hand-sold to the miners and mill workers of Wigan. Its never really been something that had a lasting effect on me., CEO of Adoptee Futures and critical adoption studies researcher, I was fostered till the age of one and then placed with my adoptive family, says Annalisa Toccara. He reflected how he had since forgiven his foster parents, saying they did the best they could and he had also received apologies from Wigan Council. Its one of the things thats made me the happiest recently, the number of people who will happily associate themselves with their care experience, says Jonny Hoyle. Opening the evening with the epicMorning Breaks, he immediately pitched the listeners into a tale of the narrator clinging onto a branch for years before choosing to finally let go, having, throughout all his time in suspension, grown wings which enabled him to take flight. $21.87 10 New from $16.75. The sculpture commemorates the abolition of the transatlantic slave trade in 1807, which began the process of the emancipation of slaves throughout the British Empire. Its an incredibly common experience. Because her care experience happened so early she was in and out of a foster home in east London until the age of five Siroun Button never really thought of herself as somebody whod been in care. The clamour of questions is almost deafening at Londons Foundling Museum one sunny July morning, when 59 people who, for many different reasons, spent all or part of their childhoods in care, gather for a historic photocall. We raced each other home from school every day and every day I got there first. Yes, you did.. Im always moving on to the next thing and thinking somethings going to go wrong., Artistic director, 20 Stories High theatre company. Composite: All images courtesy of contributors, Every one of us has a different story: a historic portrait of care system success, once was Christopher Goldsmith, reads a poem, neatly typed out on one side of a piece of A4 paper. My foster father was a teacher and my foster mother was a nurse. In 1984, at 17, he was sent to Wood End Assessment Centre, a remand home in Wigan. Lemn Sissay is a poet, author and broadcaster who was the official poet of the London Olympics in 2012. This is Lemn's story, a story of neglect and determination . It was a clear instruction from Mum and Dad. Mrs Greenwood does not think of the boy as a foster child. Alex Wheatle grew up in care in the notorious Shirley Oaks childrens home in Croydon a very lonely existence, he says. He learned that his real name was not Norman. Wallwein, who received an MBE in 2018 for services to spoken word poetry, had been in 13 homes before writing her first play at 17. He was British and Ethiopian, and he learned that his mother had been pleading for his safe return to her since his birth. His shattering, light-searching memoir, My Name Is Why, is the result. It was a question to which I already had the answer. Norman Greenwood was given his birth certificate. ISBN: 9781786892362. My brother Christopher is a year younger than me and I really loved him when I was a kid. Moving unexpectedly from subject to subject, he thanked the girls for producing such wonderful flags devoted to his poetry which he had seen on the English corridor and said had truly moved him. SOS #Dare2Care Gwynedd Council is calling for more care workers in Gwynedd. My home situation was dire. None of us have ever gone back to look for our birth families. But his writing tells a subtly different story: And so, nearly half a century later/ nearer to the end of the journey/ than the beginning,/ those questions arise/ and may remain unanswered/ but arise anyway.. I always feel these two years [at the childrens home] made it possible for me to be who I am today.. I had no pictures, no photographs. We look at reclaiming the adoption narrative and reframing the worlds view on adoption, and also helping adult adoptees heal from their trauma.. I was causing problems for everyone. I am, as I have ever been, interested to hear anything Catherine has to say about the eleven year old boy who she and her husband placed into care. Over the next few weeks the childrens home filled up with mainly teenagers. We had the same rivalry most brothers have. Macavity was dark, quick and a thief. The foster parents, Catherine and David Greenwood, went on to have three children of their own. All my personal belongings went in the locker by the bed. He was an introvert. She showed him a letter that she had written in 1968, 4 months after he had been born, in which she pleaded, to no avail, that he be given back to her to live with his own people. There's only one person in the world called Lemn Sissay. He asked me to yelp so it sounded like I was being punished. Fortunately were all busy people, so we have to rush off. And suddenly theyre all gone, a fleeting crowd of one-offs, whose generosity with their time and their stories has created an indelible image. Available in used condition with free delivery in the UK. She left you She didnt want you If I find her, I will scratch her eyes out How could she My mums love was elevated by how much she hated my birth mother for leaving me. Lemn Sissay, poet, performer and chancellor at the University of Manchester, was born in Billings Hospital near St Margaret's House for pregnant unmarried girls and women in Wigan, Greater. After a succession of institutions, he left the care system, alone, and requested his files via customer services. This was the beginning of not being touched. I used to let Christopher win at things, because he would get really upset when he didnt win, so I would play the wall and then let the ball go, and say to the wall: 15 love, to you. There was always a decision as I got to the end of the game with the wall, about whether Id let him win or not. I loved life: Lemn Sissay with friends in the days when he believed his name was Norman. He has authored collections of poetry and plays and his memoir My Name Is Why was a number one Sunday Times bestseller. This is Lemn's story: a story of neglect and determination, misfortune and hope, cruelty and triumph. The Care Leavers Association is a national user-led charity aimed at improving the lives of care leavers of all ages. They include Olympic medallist Kriss Akabusi; novelist Jeanette Winterson; the comedian and Observer columnist Stewart Lee, and the Turner prize-nominated photographer and film-maker Zarina Bhimji. $12.79 12 Used from $6.23 32 New from $8.47. I was 10 and we were off to a wedding in our new clothes. At the time, I looked exactly like my father and was the same age as he was when I was conceived. Often, I would. My Name Is Why: Quick Reads 2022: Amazon.co.uk: Sissay, Lemn: 9781838854645: Books Skip to main content .co.uk Hello Select your address Photograph: Hamish Brown/Contour The poet and broadcaster, 55, on the power of forgiveness,. Its radically changed who I am.. Overall, the experience was good, he says, but you dont feel like youve really lived your childhood. Even though his new catering business is thriving, Bramble often feels impostor syndrome. Antiques Roadshow star Lennox Cato has travelled up from Kent with his immaculately behaved labradoodle, Tilly; poet and playwright Louise Wallwein has come from Manchester with her support dog, Maisie, who is so overexcited that she gets through a whole packet of placatory doggy treats. Now Popoola is a novelist and an associate lecturer at Central Saint Martins in London. Healing can hurt too. You get to a point where you go, is my curiosity big enough to unsettle so much?, I became a journalist because I didnt see my community represented in the newsroom, says Sophia Alexandra Hall, an Oxford graduate who went into foster care as a teenager. Lucy Sheen, whose Chinese name is Chau Lai-Tuen, aged one in the home of her adoptive parents. Interviews by Killian Fox, I once was Christopher Goldsmith, reads a poem, neatly typed out on one side of a piece of A4 paper. Several people point out that they are the lucky ones anyone who has been in a care home will know many who fell by the wayside. This is the story of being stolen by the state and his 17 years in local authority care. Come what may, I may be knocked down, but I wont be down for long., Artist and founder member of the darkroom e5process, Tina Rowe first encountered racism when, aged six, she moved with her white adoptive family from a small Oxfordshire village to Malvern in Worcestershire. Other weird things started to happen. He has been made an Honorary Doctor by the universities of Manchester, Kent, Huddersfield and Brunel. My own success happened in spite of my time in care, not because of it. Lemn Sissay OBE FRSL (born 21 May 1967) [1] is a British author and broadcaster. He put me gently in the car. If I told someone I was in care, their handbag would move to the other side, jokes Luis De Abreu, who made his escape through acting and is now principal of the dance and music theatre conservatoire he joined after dropping out of school at 15. Mum smelled like mums smell; there must be a smell a child is attuned to from being a baby, a cross between baby powder and witch hazel. Its difficult to build a relationship with a mother. Just before leaving the house, Mum looked at me. Yet in 1980, at the age of 12, young Norman was abruptly expelled from his white . Buy My Name Is Why By Lemn Sissay. The foster parents have spoken of adoption, but they are afraid that investigations may lead to his mother. Social workers report. It is not sunny, but Lemn Sissay is sheltering behind dark shades, hunched over as he inhales cigarettes to feed his near-40-year habit. And then Lemn spoke elegantly and measuredly as he delivered a cathartic unburdening of his formative years. When Stallone heard Riddells tale of growing up in Aberdeen childrens homes in the early 80s, he urged him to share his story more widely. His own inspiration in poetry has come from ColeridgesRime of the Ancient Mariner. He said with age had come wisdom and he realised that bitterness rots the vessel that carries it; forgiveness for him has given him great release. The result is an inspiring photograph for young people in care today, Introduction by Claire Armitstead. This was the beginning of empty Christmas time and hollow birthdays. Sissay spent 12 years with the Greenwoods. I opened the door to allow that to happen. Through my lived experience of being adopted, I co-founded a mental-health organisation called Adoptee Futures, which is led by adoptees and which centres adoptees. My body will skip around the table like a sprite on the solid stone floor. In prison I became an avid reader, he says an experience that paved the way for his career as a novelist. Its like, should I be receiving all of this, should I even be doing it? he says. The internationally acclaimed poet and playwright Lemn Sissay OBE shares the story of his life by recalling five memorable dishes. He describes a happy childhood, a mischievous nature, and warmth between siblings. His love will shine through me and them. Becoming a young parent motivated her to return to education as an adult. Ben Ashcroft, the author of a memoir titled Fifty-One Moves, was nearly one of them. Written with all the lyricism and power you would expect from one of the nation's . Im 12. But success is not about being the lord mayor, she told a group of care leavers recently. We passed the butchers and the chemists and Wigan Road and passed the Flower Park and the main park, the junior school and Byrchall High School, and then unfamiliar territory unfolded before me: the East Lancashire Road. Lemn Sissay MBE is a British author and broadcaster. But I felt different. I asked when my clothes and toys would be arriving. I showed my love for him by punching him. I appreciate it.. Grandad had a stepfather who was very violent to my mother and me. Is thriving, Bramble often feels impostor syndrome their relationship had started to appear me as if was. 1 ] is a novelist and an associate lecturer at Central Saint Martins in London,,., at 17, he says of family that can work and your community be! Just happy to have three children of their own Croydon a very challenging complex. The word that defined Lemn memoir my name is Chau Lai-Tuen, aged 21 unaware... In 2019 foster placements before entering a childrens home led me to miners! Lord mayor, she told a group of care leavers Association is a British author and who... Files via customer services gone through and apologised for failing to confront it him win: Mum, beat... We were off to a wedding in our new clothes the experience was,... 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