Getting calls and messages from an ex is not always a sign of concern. The chances are that your girlfriend and her ex are on good terms after the breakup and are just casual friends, or she may be just being polite to him. When he leaves, she might keep on talking about him. Instead of getting stressed, talk to a close and trusted friend about your situation. A former Associated Press reporter and MSN Money columnist, Emma has appeared on CNBC, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, TIME, The Doctors, Elle, O, The Oprah Magazine. Guilty feelings from carrying a secret torch often make a person not want to talk about an ex. The emotional sequelae of nonmarital relationship dissolution: Analysis of change and intraindividual variability over time. If your girl is letting her ex contact her via text, email, or worse yet a phone call, then shes barking up the wrong tree. Talk about bad timing. Signal Ten: She's Still Connected with Her Ex. There, I fixed your faux pas for you. It is often an exhausting exercise to re-acquaint ourselves with our children (and vice versa) and constantly re-establish routines one of the struggles of single motherhood. If you're in this situation, Assimos says, you have to protect. Extra credit points for forwarding to a mental health line! There can be several reasons why he is disturbing her. If it looks like your girl is juggling "excited to see him" and "jumpiness," she might still have feelings for her ex. 1-If you are going to fall head over heals for her, just dont please. But rarely does it ring true. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. If she is always talking about her ex, whether with her friends or just you, thats not a good sign. But youve got to pull your socks up and not take it. Silence about a former lover can indicate lack of closure. I'm Petty, so I'd take a screenshot, send to her bf and ask him why his gf is harassing you. Go on a trip with friends or do a conference video call. Even a few years ago phone calls were expensive (who remembers a mass of relatives piling on a single phone line to talk over each other to a far-away relative in effort to save on long distant charges?) Now comes the actual conversation part. FACT You cant control his actions or the actions of the girl. If your relationship was healthy and blossomed from an existing friendship, staying in contact can still prove tricky, as you may have already created space in your brain for this person romantically. NO! But he goes overboard in our sons face repeating that dads his best mate, and that he misses the girls so much when I take them away from him. Therapy can be a great option, including online therapy. Same way,sharing and being vulnerable can feel scary and burdensome, but the process only gets smoother once you start opening up. If you think something just doesnt feel right, its probably worth bringing it out in the open. In the span of 24 hours, she allegedly called her ex-lover 146 times. so please before u post stuff like this do not generalize ur own experience into someone elses experiences it judgemental hurtful and.plain out right unfair these things are on a.case by case situation on how there handled and whats the best course of action, divorce happens its sad but true i was just a lid and my marrige was forced i didnt have a choice so please if you cannot be open and sympathetic to other peoples experiences and situations then u in my opinon are not qualified enough to write a article like this! You may find some messages that approve of your girlfriend and her exs relationship, or you will see her with that ex. We agreed to try the 4pm and it works for the kids. The most common is when he is jealous of her current relationship. If she still loves him, no matter how much this hurts, she wont be able to stay away from him. If something fishy is going on, then your worry, concern, anxiety, and anger is valid, but even if things are not so negative, you still feel annoyed by those calls and texts. Those who maintained contact because they were keeping the ex in mind as a backup tended to be less satisfied with and committed to their current partner. Reviewed by Lybi Ma. You may chose to go to co-parenting counseling weekly for six months during and after a breakup, or ongoing monthly until the children are grown. Sometimes, this is done unconsciously, where she really doesnt know she is doing it. When I told Lucas, 5, that I had spent the day touring my city by bike, exploring the neighborhoods and many canals, he asked: Did you go over any draw bridges? Is that a great question or what? If you are a pastor and you need powers call me at once. Because of this, we have had to purchase a second phone for to use that isnt directly/remotely controlled by her mother so that we can all have privacy. One of the more obvious signs your ex is pretending to be over you is that he stays in touch and doesn't follow the no-contact rule. Before you call her though, make sure that you are fully prepared to re-attract her. You're her safety net, her backup plan. Having problems keeping an erection or reaching orgasm can be a symptom of an emotional hang-up, Gray says. Now you should trust her and respect her loyalty. Give your children their own time with the other parent, dont push, if they want to call the ask for it or do it. This is definitely a disrespectful no-no. Infographic: What is the Ultimate Commitment. Keep reading for more about healthy communication with your kid while co-parenting. 160K views, 1.2K likes, 61 loves, 350 comments, 1.2K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Emmanuel and Phillip Hudson: When Her Ex Keep Calling Her Phone (Pt 14) Do you talk to your kids every day when they are with their dad? . Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology and chair of the psychology department at Albright College. I can easily envision them in the home I visited many times during my marriage, eating the awesome home Greek cooking of my exs stepmom and enjoying the Mediterranean sun. Theres nothing left to tell.. She knows that she is blocked and she knows that I do not want to be in contact with her. Personal Relationships, 23, 409424. You shouldnt get defensive and tell him to stay the beep away from your girl. (2000). This will strengthen your bond and help her move from nosy ex. You might meet your soulmate who has had 3 to 4 relationships in the past, but she is the right one for you. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. You deserve to have a girl that loves you for you. If she talks lovingly about him or acts like he is still her best friend, you best be careful. Holding on to previous romantic attachments creates feelings of distrust and can stymie an otherwise promising relationship. My ex lies about me to the kids, telling them Im selfish and dont care about them or that wed all be together but for me. 30-day free trial, plus step-parents, grandparents and kids can be added for free. If you catch yourself spiraling a little, it's OK. Some want the cherry and the cake too. Lets dive in and understand what you can do in this complicated phrase. 2-If you decide to bite the bullet and get involved with her, you need to be okay with her ditching you at any moment and moving on. As for photos on display, its one thing to have a group picture that includes a past partner on the wall. Give her that love and affection she was missing in her last relationship. How to tell if your lover is hung up on a former flame. And adult topics such as if my husband buys me gifts, gives me cards, kisses me, whether he and I fight or have marital issues etc. Just an option my guy. Looking at souvenirs from a relationship is part of the healing process. Huh! Other times, it's a feeling of validation (OK, they do still . Sometimes the delay is better than regret. Or, Im into you, but I still want to see others. If a longstanding relationship isnt moving to the next level, then the roadblock could be another person from the past. If you dont show her this right in her face, then you really dont have a chance. If it were, people would stop getting divorced in such high numbers. But," says marriage and family therapist Joan Sherman, "if its happening 24-seven, its a problem. If your girl is still connecting in any shape or form with her ex-boyfriend, then she is not really committing to you, as much as that might hurt. 3-You need to raise the stakes. This will be a bonus point for her ex because now he can say the universal ex phrase, I told you he wasnt the one. It will make cracks in your connection. If your girlfriend is still talking to her ex thats not necessarily a bad thing. Being honest and jealous-free is a fantastic thing. If your girlfriend seems to care at all when the conversation comes up about her ex and another girl, then you need to please tread carefully. It has its highs and lows, but it depends on how we ride on those highs and lows. Time for you to think about what you truly want, need and deserve. This means she is vesting herself in you and more likely to stick around. Unless you suspect that your ex is not adequately caring for your child, it's best to stay out of their house. Second, find ways to grow your own life and wellbeing. Give him a call in the morning, but leave the phone out of it when you should be sleeping. It seems hard to initiate such a topic, especially if the relationship is new, but it is as easy as entering a new grade at school. connectivity has proven to shorten our attention spans, heighten anxiety and weaken relationships. Your girlfriend wants to be friends with her ex because she didnt want him to hate or forget her, but at the same time, she wants you to. Co-parenting apps can be helpful in keeping track of communication and schedules including pre-agreed-upon FaceTime. Or, online therapy may be more convenient, affordable, and allow you to enjoy the benefits of counseling by conducting the text, phone or video sessions in a different location from your ex! B. What did the restaurant look like? And if you catch her smiling to herself, you are going to have to sit down with her and have a serious talk. Being suddenly thrust back into the emotions of your breakup can even. This waiting is hard, and we tend to become impatient but try not to flow with emotions. Here are 10 signs that it may be time to bring it up. NTA. However, if she spends more time chatting with her ex and values him more than your relationship but says he is just a friend, then you should be concerned. We always come up with excuses like- It is not my fault, I am not responsible for this besides that she is the one talking to her ex or getting calls and texts from her ex, its not me., etc. My kids are halfway through a 2.5 week trip to Europe with their dad, visiting his family there. If your girlfriend had a peaceful breakup or ended up on good terms, that means she doesnt have any hatred for her ex. If it looks like your girl is juggling excited to see him and jumpiness, she might still have feelings for her ex. Its all about choice. She opens up her phone, calls my number and the call automatically ends and she repeats this process 16 more times. We did chat on the phone a couple of times, and I was struck by what interested, curious children I have. Perhaps, she might tell you it was an accident but she might very well have planned to bump into her ex. Try to get to the cause of the distrust, and hold off on the detective work. Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Phone buzzing ex is not always a threat. Thankyou ..! no matter what we do as parents our children love us both and.i.wouldnt dream of changing her opinion of her father she still thinks the world.of him and while now a days he has cleaned his.lufe up a bit he still has horrible anger issues and just today lashed out on me because i messaged my 16 year old daughter and asked her how she like the midevil fair i havent heard from her in 3 days and i was told to leave them the hell alone till they reach out to me now when she is here at home i NEVER EVER denied him the ability to speak to her whenever he wanted to so it caught me off guard when he snapped at me then over a voice clip encouraged my daughter to he disrespectful to me and completley dimissive of how i felt. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text "START" to 88788. Opt for Stalking from the provided options. If youre using an ex as a backup, contact with the ex is likely to undermine your current relationship. Missing and longing are a healthy part of life. Here are a few routes your girlfriends ex influences, by being still in the picture, according to experts at Global News. We watch a woman use a stranger's video call function to keep one step ahead of her. Never let her exs call or texts be the reason for the failure of your relationship. Because if she is talking about her ex, thats really not showing you she cares about your feelings. I realized: If frequent calls and check-ins make me miss my kids, it probably makes them miss me and home. In other words, if she doesnt find someone better, he will take her back with open arms. It feels like harassment, but I dont want to bother my step daughter about it since she seems to be coping well with using both phones.